Church Scares Me
Believe it or not, there are good people, Christian people, who say this very thing to people who invite them to church. Many times, they had a bad experience at church previously. Many good Christians walk away from church, expecting never to return, because of the way a certain matter was handled, or the way they were treated due to their financial situation, race, reputation, etc. The fact is, for some people, the thought of church can be scary, so they just decide to give it up.
Just the thought of someone feeling broken because of what happened the last time they were at church sickens me. Listen, CHURCH IS FOR THE BROKEN, it shouldn’t BREAK PEOPLE! But we’ve turned it into a place where we come to admire one another’s strengths. We use it as an excuse to brag about how “deep” MY pastor’s sermon was, comparing our ability to understand to the person in the pew behind us or the members at the church down the road as if there was a class ranking.
And I’m not saying it should be a social club or a self-help course or a therapist’s office either, but church is a place where people SHOULD FEEL THE MOST COMFORTABLE coming to when they feel most rejected by everyone else, and many churches have FORSAKEN that calling, in favor of a “country club” or “university” policy …only the best and brightest need apply.
My mind goes immediately to a family who is in a new city, the father knows he should be back in church, and restore his relationship with Jesus Christ, if for no one else but his children’s sake. He decides to visit the local church, makes the plans with the family, wakes up on Sunday morning just to find out that it’s pouring rain. He almost calls the whole thing off, but decides to press on with the thought of his children and his desire to come back to Jesus as motivation. He drives up to the church with his family…
Now, the way the church treats this man can easily determine whether or not he completely gives up on church and God, or he joins the Church, restores his relationship with Jesus, sees his children come to know Christ, and who know what else!
I’m not sure if that’s how this family at NewSpring Church felt when they visited, but what a fantastic testimony for a church to have. Meredith and I had a similar experience the last time we visited, and I can tell you that for whatever reason (I’ll assume the love of Jesus Christ), they WANTED us to be there. I can personally vouch for the kindness of the volunteers at NewSpring and their willingness to go out of their way to make a visitor feel welcome.
This family could have easily been run off, or put off, if the church had treated them as second rate citizens. In some ways, this man’s future hung in the balance, and the folks at NewSpring knew that every visitor is a potentially spiritually hungry individual, looking to restore a neglected relationship with Jesus. The question is, are we willing to reintroduce them?
Major props to the guys at NewSpring for a Christ-like love that sometimes goes unnoticed. And to all you pastors and church members out there, keep up the good work. Somebody’s watching 
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I can say from observation of those in my own family that this post is absolutely true. There are sadly many churches out there that make it easy for people who are already spiritually hanging from a thread to either be scared of church or just be plain mad at religion in general. There are people in my family that have walked out on church largely as a result of the “kicking while you’re down” mentality and the absolute refusal to preach to the hearts instead of to the ears. For someone like that who has had it with church and has all but given up on God, it is absolutely crucial that his next experience with church is positive. As for my family member: I’m not sure when their next experience with church will be. I truly hope that they can experience a church that shines the love of Christ so bright that it can’t help but be noticed. For their sake, and all those like them, our churches could use some lessons in acceptance and love. This type of love doesn’t need big bear hugs and 20 questions. My family member would run the other way if this was Christian love. What they need most is for a church to so magnify Jesus that it cannot see the faults of everyone else. Thanks for the post Nathan. So true!
Absolutely true. When we accidently ended up at a Newspring service about a year and a half ago, we were about to give up on church and christians in general. We found something so different there that we kept going back week after week and found that in a place like this we got the healing we needed to get back to serving the Lord. We are now out of State and truly miss being able to be there. We are so thankful for the website and being able to get to hear what God is doing there. God bless them.
I enjoyed reading your blog. But it has been my experience that is isn’t the fear of church per se that has given me grief. It has been the hippocracy rather that has led to the “kicking while you are down” syndrome. IT has been my experience thus far that the churches seem to be more and more geared to their own convenience rather than being geared towards those in need. They claim to follow Christ, then reject some of Christ creations that present a challenge to them because they aren’t “normal”. I don’t avoid churches out of fear any longer, I avoid them out of contempt. I avoid them to protect my son from yet another rejection. The last church I attempted to attend, I went to few services alone first to see how it “felt”. Then went to their 101 seminar at which point I raised the dilemma of my son. Without going into specifics, I will simply say that I informed them that this was my last ditch attempt at trying to find this path to GOd through a church and that if they wanted to meet with my son to determine if he was suitable for them and they rejected him, I would not attempt it again (this would be the 5th church). They understood and went ahead with meeting him (he is 7 w/autism,apsergers, severe ADHD). Then proceeded to reject him, just as the previous 4 churches had. It is this that has led me to reject church and now I question the existence of a God at all. If those who are to represent Him, don’t, then how am I to believe in Him?
Hypocrisy can be another leading cause for repulsing potential Christians or former church-goers, so I understand.
“Then proceeded to reject him, just as the previous 4 churches had. It is this that has led me to reject church and now I question the existence of a God at all. If those who are to represent Him, don’t, then how am I to believe in Him?”
I am truly sorry that you had this experience. I can tell you that God cares for your son, even if his poor representatives don’t seem to. I would beg you not to give up on Him. Keep searching for Him. The search will not go unrewarded.
Hi Nathan,
Thanks for your thoughts about NewSpring. We always want to be a church where hurting people are ministered to, and people that are searching can feel welcome. To Michelle I would say that if you live in the upstate of SC and ever want to attend NewSpring, we have a wonderful special needs ministry that would love to minister to your son.
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This was a wonderful post with a lot of truths in it that everyone should understand. I’m new to Christianity and recently (this past Sunday) attended Church with my wife and two young children for the first time, ever.
I can tell you that it certainly is an intimidating experience, especially as someone new to Christianity as a whole, to enter into a Church for service. As we sat in front of the Church watching a few people go in, it was almost like being in front of high school on your first day of school.
I was VERY impressed with how well we were received and it actually began to immediately feel like home and we’ll definitely be going back from now on.
I have just started a blog to document my experience in finding Christ. It’s going to be an interesting journey, as it already has been as you’ll see in a post I’m going to write later this afternoon.
http://findinggodfindingchrist.blogspot.com/